A futuristic view from the Enterprise approaching the first inhabited planet!!!

Spock: Captain, I am receiving communication from intelligent life forms on the planet below!

Capt. Kirk: Mr. Sulu, put the source of the communication on the screen.

Sulu: Aye, aye, Captain.

Captain Kirk: Mr. Spock, this talking creature appears to be a large crab which is welcoming us in peace and freedom, and appeals to our humanity.

Dr. McCoy: Jim!!! These are living, intelligent creatures! This is historic!

Captain Kirk: Bones, what is the Paine Commission's instructions and what does the Prime Directive tell us to do in this matter??

Spock: Captain, as you well know, these documents instruct us to use our humanity and to serve these aliens with equal opportunity for all!

Captain Kirk: Silently to himself , "And so I will - on all accounts"

Captain Kirk: Mr. Spock, I believe I was talking to Bones!

Spock: Captain, I believe my mind meld with you gives me the right to speak here. I see a disturbing trend in your thought patterns which ...

Captain Kirk: Quiet, Spock! That's an order. No, Bones, it's been many a year since our last crab boil. What I'm thinking here . . .

Dr. McCoy: Captain!!! Think of the lost opportunities to humanity. You see . . .

Captain Kirk: Bones!!!! Please!!! Please!!! Is there any other way to pacify and unify a rebellious crew and to best represent their humanity as well as to serve alien species than to have a large crab boil? Bones these people need to release themselves!! My authority may be limited if I try and hold them totally back!!!

Dr. McCoy: But, Jim . . .

Captain Kirk: Quiet, McCoy! Or I will have you and Nurse Chapell trade uniforms and have her as doctor for the rest of the journey. I must be decisive here! My mind is made up!

Dr. McCoy: But, Jim, think of the humanity. What if these things are poisonous? It could be a disaster!!

Captain Kirk: (Quietly to Dr. McCoy as they both look steely eyed at Mr. Spock) Bones, why do you think I have an insufferable Vulcan on the bridge as Science Officer, who does not laugh at my jokes, and has this unfortunate moral streak in him?

Spock: Captain Kirk, I can't allow this to happen!!

Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy: Spock, you are out of order and on the verge of mutiny!!!

Captain Kirk: Ensign Checkov, lock the phasers and the photon torpedoes on the major crab cities. We will have to show them the righteous nature of our freedom and humanity. One must impart the righteous and true part of our values, beliefs, morals, and ethics throughout the universe. Cook, break out the large cook pots! Crew, get ready for a mission of peace, humanity, and friendship on a newly found inhabitable planet. Ohura, open a channel to the crabs and tell them of our friendly behavior!!!

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This page last updated on April 5, 2001.